There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you (Maya Angelou).
We all have stories that we keep to ourselves, the ones that never get told for any number of reasons, not even to our closest friends sometimes.
What if these stories are eating you up inside, consuming you and making any kind of progress impossible?
Paulo Coelho's book 'The Zahir' talks about how a story has to be told over and over again, and that each time the story is told it loses some of its power over us, until its power is gone and we know we've told it for the last time.
I have a story that I thought I'd told for the last time almost 20 years ago. Two years ago a very unexpected new chapter opened up and I've been revisiting it a lot in the last few months. I won't say any more about that story here, but I am writing a book about it - maybe it will be published one day, I don't know yet, but for now it is serving as the best therapy.
Being able to look back as the person I am now is leading me to a greater understanding of the person I was then and the way it shaped me and my decisions for years afterwards.
Tell your story!
What story do you have stuck inside that still has power over you? What chapter of your life still affects you deeply when you recall it? How would you feel if you could tell that story, right now?
You don’t need to tell it to anyone in particular, but you do need to tell it. You can write it down, or type it out, and revisit it as many times as you need to until you're sure that you've gone as far as you can with it.
As you tell your story consider the following questions:
*How did it make you feel then?
*How do you feel about it now?
*Who do you need to forgive? (yourself included)
*How did this story influence the person you became?
*What have you learned from this experience?
*What power does this story hold over you now?
Writing is possibly the most effective way that you can liberate yourself of everything that you’re holding onto. The beauty of writing is that you can do it in your own time, in a space where you feel safe and you can give yourself permission to remember, to get lost in a past you possibly thought you’d never visit again in order to gain new wisdom and understanding, not only of the person you were then but who you are now.
Healing happens in layers so this is a process, but every time you revisit or retell the story, you'll uncover the layer of wisdom and knowledge that you're able to deal with at that time.
You know that this story holds too much power over you still, and the only way to release its hold is to tell the story, as many times as you need to until you feel completely at peace with it.
Be gentle with yourself during the process, you may find yourself reliving painful situations that bring up emotions. Sit with them, allow yourself to feel them but don't lose yourself in them - at least not for too long.
When we have experienced trauma, painful experiences, grief or have inflicted pain on others, telling the story allows us to release all of those feelings, forgive those involved and forgive ourselves leaving us at peace with what has passed.
We can also learn to find deep gratitude for all we have learned through our stories. They have shaped us into who we are today, have shown us who we don't want to be and have encouraged us to grow in ways we never thought possible.
Through this Gratitude we can find acceptance and true peace, for we realise that no matter how hard it seemed at the time it has brought us to where we are right now.
And of course if you feel to you can tell your story to friends or family – they will admire your strength and confidence for doing so, and you may just inspire them to do the same!
You're also more than welcome to share your story here, either in the comments or you can send me a message - anonymously if you prefer!
With love & light,
Amanda
