I don't know how many times I've told various clients that we create stress and unneeded pressure by telling ourselves that we don't have time to do everything that 'needs to be done', or by worrying that our 'to do' list keeps growing instead of shrinking.
There's a famous saying that we teach best what we most need to learn, and I've recently found myself in exactly that situation.
In this blog I'm sharing my personal journey over the last 2 months as well as showing you effective and simple ways in which playing with time can alleviate all of that unnecessary stress and tension.
The last two months have been challenging to say the least. I've had to change the way I work, both around the house and for my business, and I've been on the verge of physical burnout from the pressure I put on myself to get everything done.
My husband works away from home, usually for 8 weeks at a time, and after 6 months at home he went back to work at the beginning of April - leaving me with our 6 month old beautiful but always energetic puppy, Thalia.
My daily routine used to start with meditation, then a short walk, household chores, then a few hours of work, leaving me a few hours in the afternoon to do as I please.
Oh how different my days are now! Sitting in meditation every morning has turned into a walking meditation, gratitude and affirmations practice whilst walking Thali – although peaceful walks are now a thing of the past, these days I always have half an eye looking out for rabbits, ready to brace myself against the huntress that is my dog! Oh, and walks have gone from 20 minutes to at least 45 mins to an hour, twice a day.
My brother recently came to visit – he asked if I sweep the terrace every day, I told him yes, usually twice. He commented that it was a lot of work.
We’re blessed to live in a beautiful house, with a lovely spacious garden. All of which requires work every day to keep it all looking beautiful – whilst constantly trying to convince Thalia that duster/mop/broom/rake are not her favourite games!
Yes. It is a lot of work. For one person keeping a big house clean, garden upkept, pool clean, fridge filled up and not to mention keeping Thalia entertained/walked/played with whilst trying to run and grow my business any time she’s sleeping – it’s a lot of work.
Did you notice how my business came last in that list? The only time I can reasonably sit down to work without having to get up every few minutes to retrieve a toy, untangle her leash or let her back in or out again is when she’s asleep, which is great if she sleeps during the day and doesn’t wait till the evening when I’m too tired to see straight let alone work!
All the projects I have been planning - setting up classes, recording guided meditations, creating mini chakra healing books, starting women's healing circles, Twin Flame guidance circles, planning a healing retreat for early January - have been put aside. The only commitment I am making to my work at the moment is my social media posts and weekly blog post - the rest will come in time.
After the first 3 weeks of Hubby's absence, I was physically exhausted. Getting up at 6am every day, pushing myself non-stop to get things done around the house, never being able to let even a light layer of dust sit for more than a couple of days, feeling like I was losing two hours out of every day walking Thali, not getting enough rest during the day when I needed it because I 'had' to get this or that done, no time for self-healing or meditation - the list goes on and on!
I felt like I was drowning, every morning I was waking up not having slept enough and already going over The List in my head, dreading having to get on with it all with no energy.
During a conversation with a business colleague she told me about a friend of hers who was off work with burn-out because of her puppy and I realised that I was on the point of the same.
I immediately gave myself the following week off from anything remotely physical apart, from dog-walking, and took the opportunity to rest myself completely.
That week was exactly what I needed to remind myself of who I am and how time works for me not against me. I realised that I’d been constantly creating pressure for myself and reminded myself that done is better than perfect and that I don’t have to do it alone.
A friend of mine is a housecleaner and she’s agreed to come clean once a week, half paid and half in exchange either for a healing session or a couple of hours looking after her children so she can rest – it's the perfect exchange!
I’ve changed my way of thinking - instead of constantly telling myself that I don’t have time, I affirm that I have all the time I need to get everything done, and I do.
I tackle the stuff I don't want to do first, to get it out of the way, and that gives me space to enjoy the rest of my tasks, rather than dreading what I'll have to do when I'm done.
I take a siesta when I need to, even if it's only 10am - I listen to my body and if it tells me to rest, I rest, knowing that if I don't, it will make the rest of the day that much harder.
I realise, of course, that not everyone has the luxury of being able to sleep whenever they feel the need - but even five minutes of conscious breathing has the power to revive and refresh you immensely.
I've let go of the need to have a perfectly clean house at all times. After all, most of the time it's just me and my thali, and my friends won't judge me if the dishes aren't done or if the dust from the fields has been collecting on the sideboard all week.
Instead of feeling like I have lost two hours of my day by walking Thalia, I spend our walks being grateful for the beautiful place we live and the beautiful walks we get every day, and being as mindful as I can of the natural beauty around us.
Our walks have also meant that my step count has gone up to 12,000-14,000 a day or more - I'm now almost at my target weight after a few months of stagnation, and will certainly reach it in the next few days! Whoop whoop!!!
Instead of seeing playtime with Thali as a chore, I enjoy it almost as much as she does - I've learned to accept that she's a puppy with a lot of energy and she chose us for a reason.
I'm blessed to have her, even on the days when she pushes all my patience and acceptance buttons! (On those days I remind myself, over and over again if need be, that she's just a puppy and any problem with her is coming from me).
Instead of seeing Thali Training as more time out of my day (5-10 minutes, 3 times a day), I now see it as an investment - the better trained she is, the less trouble she'll be!
My to-do list - or 'things I would like to get done list' as I prefer to call it - no longer exists. I know what needs to be done and it will all get done in it's own time.
I remember to take time to breathe and bring myself back to the present moment instead of racing ahead in my mind to the next task.
As you can see, changing my thoughts and mindset has been invaluable in helping me to enjoy my life again, instead of constantly feeling like I have a mountain of tasks and no time to get anything done.
My priorities have changed. My puppy is now the centre of my existence, rather than my business and my house - or even my husband, at least when he's away. This will change again when Thalia is a bit older, calmer and not so demanding of attention all the time - until then, I choose to live my life as fully, authentically and productively as I possibly can!
The most important reminder this particular journey has brought me is that time is fluid, energy - and like all energy it's ours to play with.
We create our realities through the energy of every thought we think, every word we speak and every action we take.
Every time you tell yourself you don't have time, you will feel pressure.
Every time you tell yourself you have so much to do, it will feel like a mountain.
Every time you tell yourself I'll never get it all done, you're setting yourself up for defeat.
Change your words:
Changing the words you use will shift your perspective, give you a sense of enjoyment as you go about fulfilling your daily tasks and take away that sense of stress:
Instead of saying: I must/I have to/I should/I need to
Try: I want to/I get to/I choose to/ I'm lucky enough to be able to...
Watch the way you speak to yourself as well - try talking to yourself as if you were talking to someone you really love, you wouldn't chastise a close friend for not having gotten through everything they needed to and nor should you be too harsh with yourself.
Change your thoughts. Change your energy with these affirmations:
I have all the time I need.
This is not a priority right now
I am capable of doing what needs to be done
I enjoy working on my tasks
I am blessed to have a beautiful house and garden to take care of (one of my favourites!)
Done is better than perfect
I listen to my body and rest when needed
I can relax and enjoy the task at hand
I am fully grounded in the present moment
If you have a regular morning meditation/visualisation practice, you can visualise yourself being positive and productive as you work through your chores and tasks during the day ahead. Or simply give thanks for being positive and productive as you go about your morning routine.
Just one Tera Mai Healing session can relieve any mental stress and tension, and help you let go of the need to always have everything done and perfect. If you would like to find out more, book your FREE 30-min discovery call today: